There's nothing I wouldn't do for love I haven't already done for spite.

I have been thinking a lot lately about getting another pet.

For the record I already have a kitten who goes by many names, usually Puck, and a Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy called Rosie.

They are an absolute handful at the best of times, and making me cry and swear off real children when they're at their worst.

Which leads to the new pet. 'Dear God why?!' You may ask, since I obviously don't always get along with the pets I already have, but, this new pet will be better. He will be easier to look after. He will be one creepy motherfucker.

Figured it out what I plan to get? He is...an axolotl!

For those of you playing at home that aren't familiar with one of this guys, this is what they look like.

Pretty incredible looking, huh?

So, now that you know my future pet, here are some fun facts about them;

• They only need to be fed every 2 to 3 days, they eat tadpoles, worms and other smaller fish, making these lil guys carnivores!
• They can regenerate almost any injured part of their body, including the limbs, tail, skin, and even major organs like the heart, liver and kidney.
• Axolotls can grow to be as large as 20-40cm and live for as long as 10-15 years.
• They are sold in Mexican market places as food.
  

So I will essentially have a pet that is as long as my forearm that can heal itself. Delightfully creepy, no?

They remind me of, having never seen one of course, a half aborted fetus. So going with this theme I'm going to get a longish aquarium in the shape of those bottles that you sometimes see little model ships in, and label it as 'The One That Didn't Make It'.

I would also call him Felix.